Leaving Your Comfort Zone to Follow Your Dreams
Creativity extends beyond making art or expressing our voice. It goes off into finding solutions in areas where we don’t feel comfortable, as well as expressing ourselves by creating things and special moments that reflect the nature of our hearts.
The nature of our hearts
After migrating two times in my life; from Venezuela to Madrid and from Madrid to Bristol, I thought doing it a third time would be as smooth as the other two. The truth is that migrating to France wasn’t an easy experience and I could have prepared myself better.
The language barrier was the main obstacle I experienced. In order to adapt to a new culture we need to speak the language well. We will find people from other countries with whom we’ll be able to speak other languages of course, but the integration process will be slower if we decide to stay within our comfort zone and only speak the languages that are familiar to us.
Also the bureaucracy system in France will slow down the process of adaptation because all the paperwork that is needed; like having a social security number and having access to financial aid, can only be granted after you have proved your residency in France for at least 3 months.
I went there without knowing any of this so I wasn’t prepared to deal with the consequences of not having financial support whilst searching for jobs or having the coverage of social security when I had to be hospitalized for five days due to an abscess in my throat.
I faced many challenges but I also received many blessings
The Sea is one of the greatest blessings I received
Thanks to the financial difficulties I was facing, I pushed myself to play music in the street to earn money. That is something I wanted to do for a very long time during my years living in Bristol but I always had an excuse not to do it: the weather, not having time, not having the gear, etc.
Once I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and went to start playing in the street, all sorts of magical things started happening that aligned me back onto my purpose. I met wonderful people in the street that will come and tell me how good they felt after listening to my music. Others will come and have conversations with me or invite me to play music at their home. The most magical moment was when a group of children doing a day trip in town walked past me and one of them sat on the floor to listen to my chants. The rest of the group sat down too and they all listened attentively. The teachers were taking pictures and were encouraging of this. I then gave my rattle to one of the kids and they all stood up and danced, passing the rattle to each other to accompany me. I started singing some call and response sounds with them and they responded enthusiastically. They left feeling very happy and my heart completely burst open. It’s been one of the most beautiful moments of my life so far.
Moments like those were reassuring me on my path. They were the signs from the Universe that were indicating I was on the right path, doing what I needed to do in order to expand in confidence and performance skills.
Me doing what I needed to do in order to expand in confidence and performance skills.
Before I moved to Marseille, I played in Bristol in various open mics but never felt good enough. I never felt I was up to the standard of a British musician. I never felt I had “what it takes” or that I had enough confidence to charge for a concert. I did many things for free just because I was unknown and I wasn’t a well established musician to have the right to be paid for what I had to offer. Basically, my soul got fed up with this “not worthy” type of mentality and pushed me to quit my job and to jump into the avis without knowing what was going to happen. Being in the street has been one of the most brave things I’ve done for myself. It simply pushed me to believe in myself and receiving the beautiful feedback I received from strangers was the direct testament that what I was doing works.
I came back to the UK two weeks ago to put a bit of order in my life. I had left all my belongings here (including my beautiful cat Lakshmi) and I needed to decide what I was going to do with all those things. If I want to start a new life in France, I need to let go of weight. Owning too many things feels heavy when you want adventure and traveling so I needed to sort that out. Within a week of being here, I already organized my first gig. I invited two musicians to collaborate with me and I’ve already sold a few tickets to the event. At the beginning I thought of doing it for free but then I remembered my worth and decided it was worth offering this as a ticketed event because it will help me to cover the costs of organizing, paying the musicians and the cacao I will be offering. It will also pay me for the time I’m investing in creating something beautiful.
It’s only when we remember our worth that we are able to manifest our dreamed life.
None of this would have happened if I hadn’t pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I was having a great life in Bristol before I decided to leave but I would have probably struggled to survive another winter here and although my teaching job was expanding my confidence and levels of comfort with being seen, it wasn’t pushing my music career any further. And that is the main reason I had for quitting something as stable and secure as a permanent teaching job in the college like the one I had. Teaching is something I love for sure, but it was draining my energy and I didn’t feel I could dedicate the time I wanted to make music.
During the time I spent in Marseille I grieved having left my teaching job but I don’t regret it. Every decision we make ends up being the right decision despite the challenges it may or may not bring. The growth we experience with every decision is worth the risk.
I am now on the cusp of this transition, trying to find my way back to Marseille, because I simply need the sun and the sea in my life on a constant basis. Why Marseille? That is something I still have to discover and I’m sure it won’t be the last place on Earth where I decide to live.
I am a flying bird and I go where the wind takes me and where the music wants me to sing.
